The first time I remember hearing God's voice was when I was 8ish years old. The night before, I was at skate night at Skate City. I grew up at Skate City. It was my second home; I've played hockey since I was 4 years old, and I spent most of my evenings and weekends playing for the travel/rec leagues there during my years before high school. I also spent every Friday night, 6-10pm, hanging with my friends from school and skating my brains out. So, I was definitely familiar with the staff and venue. I knew exactly when there would be somebody behind the prize counter, and more importantly (in my mind), when somebody wouldn't be there. Inside the glass case was a clear bouncy ball with a snake floating in the middle. I wanted it. You don't need to read minds to guess what happened next.
I found the precise moment when I wouldn't be seen, reached my hand over the counter and into the case and grabbed the bouncy ball and quickly stuck it into my pocket. It didn't come out for the rest of the night for fear that somebody would see and know I stole it. The next day at my mom's town home, I was playing with it, and inside me grew a sting that my conscience tried as hard as it could to push down. I don't think I have ever actually heard God's voice, but this day I am sure HE was the one speaking to me. "Why did you steal that bouncy ball?" He kept asking me, and I kept trying to get around it. Finally I said, "I'm sorry God for stealing this!" And I chucked that bad boy down the street. I wish this was the turning point in my life when I would follow Jesus, but it wasn't. I wasn't a Christian then, which is what intrigues me so much about this event. God was speaking to me, yet, I had no idea who He was.
• • •
God has asked me to share my story with you, to disclose everything that has happened in my life that has lead me to a relationship with the very real Jesus, and into his saving faith. So, this blog is going to be that story. I am hoping what is said here will effect you in an extraordinary way, that God would speak to you through the events He has allowed me to experience so you would know you aren't alone, and that his grace abounds. This isn't in any way intended to bring me fame, fortune, exposure, etc., but it is merely for the fact that God intends to use me to bring His gospel to you, and to show that I am a product of His perfect grace. I would like to quote Mo Isom from her 'my story' blog and say that 'I am a witness. I am a vessel. I am just one of His many tools - and proudly so.'
Over the next few weeks, I will be going through my life and giving you my testimony of how the Lord has saved me. I can't pinpoint the exact moment where I became a Christian; what I do have are places in my life where God took me to show me how much I needed Him, and through those places has formed (and has been forming) my heart to mold directly to His.
*DISCLAIMER* This blog is probably going to get a bit dirty. I want to first ask that my readers, if you see something that could pertain to you (friends, past relationships, family) do not take it as me trying to throw you under the bus. I want to assure you that I won't be bashing anyone in this blog. God's goodness and glory is the point to be reached, and unfortunately (or fortunately, really) I have learned the hard way in a lot of instances.
God charged Paul in his ministry to "not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent for I am with you,..." (Acts 18:9). I am a musician, and on this stage, we see a lot of people succumb to the brief glory of finite fame instead of relishing in the everlasting infinite glory of the real reason we were put here: God. I don't want to be one of those musicians. I want to proclaim proudly "Him", without being scared when 'my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, "where is your God?"' Psalm 42:10. I wan't to proclaim boldly His goodness, and the best way to do that is to humbly submit yourself to His will. So, I hope that in writing this blog, He can work and speak to your heart to show how real He is.